wee doors banging

There has been much media and online 2.0 hysteria about the recent outbreak of the dangerous H1N1 strain of Swine Influenza, a.k.a. “Mexican Swine Flu”.

It’s important though that we all sty calm. H1N1 swine ‘flu is still just a snoutbreak, a minor hamergency the health services can contain for now.

Nevertheless, U.S. military helichopters have overflu their boarders to stop herds of Mexican citizens from bacon down fences and streakying up from the sowth. It’s true that swine flu’ is dangerous to humans and difficult to cure, and so could grow to epigdemic or even hamdemic proportions – an aporkalyptic scenario that could bring about parmageddon – but, for now at least, civilisation has not gone belly up as people realise this isn’t swine-11 and are showing some gammon sense, not behaving rasherly or crackling up.

The media have so far made a pig’s ear of maintaining calm with the panic stories they insist on trottering out. Those, and the ill-informed hysteria swilling around some parts of the internet, are doing nothing to help. If you call your doctor saying you have swine ‘flu, you’ll just be told to stop telling porkies and hogging the line, and won’t be prescribed so much as an oinkment never mind be rushed away in a hambulance.

Don’t panic, but you’re going to die.